...savage aesthetic...: shoulders

about me

"One of the worst things that could be said to someone with an eating-disorder was said to me a few days ago. It was Thursday, Oct 6^th. A new-hire I’m training was talking about her diet and exercise regimen, on track to lose 2 lbs a week. I humored her while she explained how many calories people need to maintain personal body weight and she went on to guess at my own weight and how many calories I should eat to maintain or lose. Apparently she has a lot of experience from sizing customers and is very accurate… Apparently I look like I weigh 130-135 lbs.
My inner Ana has been freaking out ever since.
Of course I nodded yes that she was correct. Nobody, nobody, needs to know I weigh less. I don’t care if they think I’m made of concrete, they are not knowing how low my bmi goes."

It is strange to think that I have been ednos for over a decade now. Symptoms seem to come and go in phases, but the reality of it is always with me. I am currently in a relapsing phase and I want so badly for it to increase in strength and take over, to meet its goal. I know this is not healthy. I could probably be a dietician or nutritionist with everything I've so obsessively read. I just want to be skinnier, athletic, and not such a slave to food.

...savage aesthetic...

Thursday, October 6, 2011

tattoo-spo: shoulders

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