skip

I need to get back into the habit of skipping meals. I stopped that originally so as to keep my metabolism going, but it hasn't been such a positive difference. Eating "smaller meals more often" turned into "poor choices all the time." I snack a lot and give in too easily to junk foods. Also, if I eat breakfast then I am hungrier for lunch and end up eating more overall. So what should I do? Make better food choices, obviously. Maybe make some rules about when food is allowed and be more spartan in regards to quantity. If I'm properly controlling my food choices then the calorie level should fall quite a bit. More vegetables, light protein, much less carbs and fat. And stay away from peanut butter!

don't give up

I lost track of my tracker-tracky diet log.
Bahh.. No idea what day I'm on and Im so far off course that it doesn't matter.

The previous post foretold correctly.
When the bulimic mood - Is it a mood? It comes like a mood, like a tidal wave - sets in, I know it right away. It is there as soon as I'm home alone. The door closes behind him and I scamper off to the kitchen for a "snack" but find myself throwing together a terrible batch of cookies or pancakes or something I know I can easily purge.
I hate it. I hate my lack of self-control.
I've got to hang in there..
With a diet, the worst thing is to give-up when you mess-up.
At least I'm better than that.

I am revising my "phase 1" regimen.
Obsessing over food and the calories in it really seems to make me munchier from thinking about it so much.
Phase 1 needs to be a retraining of thought patterns, a kiddie pool for new habits. It should focus less on counting calories and more on portion size, frequency and quality.

dear Ana

dear Ana,

my husband baked a pie for me.
i had some.
too much, really.
but then, everything is too much.
too much to resist.
that's why i've always been ed-nos.

Mia might come by for a visit.
i know how you despise her
and i know you're right.
she always takes advantage of when i'm alone.

my husband is going out of town.
so its me, myself, and pie.
Mia makes it a party.